The Pet Adoption League - Fun Stuff To Read:
A Tribute To A Dog:
The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never proves ungrateful, or treacherous is the dog.
A man's dog stands by him in prosperity & poverty, in sickness and in health.
He will sleep on the cold ground when the wintry wind blows and the snow drives fiercely if only he may be near his master's side.
He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer, he will lick the wounds & sores that come from encounter with the roughness of the world.
He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince, he is an constant in his love as the sum in it's journey through the heaven.
"Bearly" Wishing:
Gee, I wish I were a bear! I would get to hibernate for six months. Imagine! Sleeping for six months! I could live with that. Before hibernating, I'd have to eat myself stupid so I could live through the cold winter. I could deal with that too! If I were a mama bear, everyone would know I'd mean business. I could swat anyone who bothered my cubs and, if my cubs got out of line, I could swat them too! As for my husband, he'd expect me to wake up growling and he'd expect hairy legs and excess body fat. Gee, I wish I were a bear.
Seeking Love:
SBF Seeks Male Companionship: I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, fishing, and cozy winter nights spent lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and I will respond with tender caresses. I'll be at the front door when you come home from work. Kiss me, and I'm yours. I'm a svelte good-looking girl who loves to play. Call 555-2121 ans ask for Daisy. (The phone number is the ASPCA and I'm and eight week old black Labrador).
19 Guidelines To Follow When Becoming Somebody's Dog
*I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
*The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
*I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee
table.
*I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
*I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
*I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the
house when I am about to throw up.
*I will not throw up in the car.
*I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
*I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
*I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after
processing.
*I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
*I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
*I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will
think I am hemorrhaging.
*When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's
raining outside.
*We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
*I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
*The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
*My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
*I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's
license and car registration.